Chocoholic Jokes

Chocoholic Jokes

REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX 

You’re never too old to enjoy chocolate.
It’s safe to have chocolate while you’re driving. 
You never feel guilty after chocolate.
You can make chocolate last as long as you want. 
You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
With chocolate – satisfaction’s guaranteed.


REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN MEN 

No one’s ever been jilted by a chocolate gateau.
After telling your chocolate bar all your worries you can simply eat it.
You can share chocolates with your best friend.
A bar of chocolate doesn’t bore you by constantly talking about football.
Your mother will never disapprove of your choice of chocolate. 



REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN WOMEN 

Chocolate never keeps you waiting.
Chocolate doesn’t get jealous when you look at another chocolate bar.
You never have to buy a box of chocolates for a box of chocolates.
Chocolate doesn’t talk incessantly while you’re watching the football.
It doesn’t expect you to remember the anniversary of the first time you met.
Chocolate never tries to chat up your best friend.
Chocolate isn’t looking for a long term commitment.

Sorry for eating the peanuts

A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table.

Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes he's absentmindedly finished the entire bowl. 'I'm so sorry, auntie, I've eaten all of your peanuts!"That's okay, dearie," the aunt replied. "After I've sucked the chocolate off, I don't really care for them anyway."